Good Morning Sweet Friends,
I don't know where to begin. It has been nearly two weeks since my last post-sigh. So much has happened in two weeks. I have been quite busy. This Momma's heart of mine has been in full nesting mode. I have had a to-do list a mile long. I have taken down every bit of greenery in my house and cleaned it all....nearly every nook and cranny (who made those words up?) is clean and organized (I am afraid to look in Hannah's closet!). I want to make sure that our home is extra clean and neat for when Rachel gets home from the hospital.
Mr. Incredible couldn't believe all that I was doing and he encouraged me that our home is always clean and neat but I just felt the need to get it all ready for when we come home. I want to be able to just take care of our daughter without having to worry about getting our home ready for Christmas. Yes, my decorations are up which is a little earlier than normal. I always look forward to decorating our home for Christmas and I try to always do the decorating on my birthday (which is tomorrow....the big 40, I can't believe it!) I just have the main Christmas tree to decorate (with my family, of course-one of my favorite Christmas traditions) and the outside lights to finish...and I am thankful. Christmas is my favorite time of year and having the house decorated and ready feels good and fills my heart with joy. I relished in having my quiet time with the Lord near our beautiful Christmas decorations early this morning.
I had to share the stained glass picture with you. Right before my last post, I had the blessing of leading music at our Ladies Retreat. Mom had asked me months ago to lead the music for the weekend and I was excited....nervous....but excited. We did the Beth Moore, Retreat in a Box, and the theme was "Loving Well." The day of the retreat is when the neurosurgeon's nurse called to tell me that after hearing about Rachel's increased symptoms, the doctor wanted to move the surgery to his earliest opening, November 24th...and I cried.
Thoughts and emotions flooded my mind. I wasn't ready for the December 15th surgery date...how could I be ready earlier? Instantly, my mind began to form my massive to-do list of all that I wanted to accomplish before the date and so many other thoughts. How could I possibly lead the worship time for retreat? I was a mess!
I felt the Lord gently encouraging that in our weakness He is strong and that I had made a commitment and that together we could do it and after all He would receive far greater glory if I kept my commitment to Him even after hearing the news of the new surgery date. I knew that He had planned it all perfectly...the timing of it all....and I trusted Him.
The retreat was so special Friday night, and the ladies worshipped in spite of me. I try to be the one who is put together but that night I fumbled through a song and while I feel quite confident that my eye started twitching out of sheer stress I knew that God was somehow being glorified in my obedience to Him. If ever there was a time that I needed to praise Him....it was that night. I needed to let the day roll off and get my praising on! And the ladies were so precious.
Since it was a ladies retreat, most of us stayed at the church that night. A few brought air mattresses but most of us did not. Mom had the brilliant idea of all of us sleeping in the pews in the sanctuary. I had no idea the blessing that would be until we turned off the lights....and saw the lighted cross (my picture above).
I crawled into my blanket and felt a glow of light across my face. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful stained glass window in full glow. I can't tell you the comfort that it brought to me that night. I told the Lord that I was ready to fall apart from all of the news but instead I was surrounded by perfect peace~His peace and the reflective light of the cross.
Oh, His timing is perfect and His love is fierce and mighty! I'll never forget that night...a night planned just for me. If you talk to the other ladies they feel the same way....it was a night planned just for them. I am so thankful that I had my phone so that I could snap a photo. It is a memory I will hold on to for the rest of my life. There is so much symbolism....so much peace....so much comfort. Our lives are in His hands and He leads us every step of the way. While I cannot possibly believe that one week from today we will be in post-op...I stand firm in His faithfulness. The retreat weekend was planned perfectly by Him....and Rachel's surgery has been too.