Chi-less or The Hair-a-chi of it all!

Excuse me for a moment...while I cry!

This little bit of beauty goodness has been my bff hair tool for the past 4 years.

As of yesterday...dead to me!

Yesterday was my 6 week hair appointment. I so look forward to my visits. The ladies are fun, they put foil in my hair and I get great reception on my I-pod, I love the smells of different hair products all around. We laugh and visit. It's fun! Until yesterday!!!!!!!

I have been going to the same stylist for the last I dunno, 11 years. Yesterday she says, "Sweetie, I don't know how to tell you this...but...um...please don't hate me (that's not possible)....but your hair is starting to fall out...and it is breaking all over."

What? Am I dreaming? Stylist said what?

Then she proceeds to ask me if I have ever thought of using Murad.

Huh?

As I am fighting back major tears, she asks me if I have any stress in my life. I'm chuckling now as I type. Uh, YES, I do! And up until a few seconds ago I thought that I was handling it pretty well. Who knew?

My hair is in such bad shape, they couldn't put me under the dryer. It had to air dry. Hmmm. She told me that hormones play a big role in the life of your hair too and that I should probably check it out with my doctor.


I cried all the way to class. I called Mr. Incredible and he....laughed! He thought that I was joking about my hair loss. What woman jokes about that?!

I sought comfort in talking to the Lord and a Grande Cappuccino from Starbucks. I shared a cup with my mom and felt a little better. My Dad told me to get over it and just call the doctor and then go home and read Ecclesiastes. (He meant that in the most loving way and it's not the first time I have heard this advice).

Great! I avoided my last appointment because of the dreaded scales. Yes, I know that I am being very shallow right now, I'm not proud about it at all.

Anyway, my ob/gyn (sorry to any men that might be reading this) has this gestapo-like nurse that weighs you in and takes your vitals, etc. I think the highlight of her day is lecturing women on their weight. If she would only write down that my height is not 5'9" but rather 7'2" then we wouldn't have to discuss my BMI every time I visit! But no, Nurse Ratchet doesn't think that is very funny. I'd like to weigh her the next time I visit!

Anyway, I swallowed my pride and called his office to schedule an appointment. Good news! My next appointment is on...get this...Friday the 13th (of February)! I am not kidding.

After I told them about my hair loss and a little swollen lymph node issue, they are getting me in in just 2 weeks. Joy! At least I will be weighing in before Thanksgiving and not after. Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like an exam. Does it?

Back to my hair stylist, we determined that I am clearly addicted to using my Chi. As of today, I am Chi-less. I have to put it away for a while. She cut off 4 inches of my hair, in order to make it more healthy. I wasn't prepared for any of this. I know it is only my hair...but it's my hair people! Surely someone can relate to my vanity issue.

I get to use these new products made out of pure gold and diamonds, they are a bit pricey, in order to revitalize my dry, aging hair.

And since I'm Chi-less, I get to try to figure out how to use this:

The name cracks me up! I don't want to look like I've just rolled out of bed or that I can't figure out how to use a curling iron after so many years without one. But, it is a pretty pink shade don't you think?

Monday is my birthday. I'm not feeling the love.

I was feeling a bit self conscious and a little on the weepy side so I asked Mr. Incredible what he thought about my new hair style.

Honestly? He said. It makes you look old! (I wish that I were kidding!)

What???? Say that to my face!

At this moment I think I am having a nightmare so I pinch myself. No such luck!

Don't worry, he continued, it will grow back! This day just keeps getting better.

He has never said anything so stupid, I mean so unemotionally honest, before. This happened right before bed last night. Girlfriend didn't sleep very well. Would you?

So, first thing this morning I hopped in my suburban and headed for Target to buy these:

Yes, I know it is vanity!

But, when your husband says you look old, it kind of messes with your psyche!

I know that I am going on and on in this very random, vanity filled post. If you are still with me I'll wrap it up. If you need me, I'll be in my bathroom trying to figure out how to use a curling iron again and how to make myself look younger. If you have any good advice, I'd love to hear it! Just don't tell me that I look old because I may have to beat you with my Chi! Oiy!