Motherhood and a Tiny Pecan

Today I began the much needed process of cleaning out my closet. While my husband would be quick to tell you it really wasn't that bad, because my side looks better than his, I was really convicted that if I was insisting on my daughter keeping her bathroom, room, and closet picked up, my closet really needed some attention too.

I started by refolding some t-shirts and shorts and then I looked at all of my purses gathering dust on the shelf. I am a creature of habit as far as purses are concerned. I carry my black Coach bag most of the year and then break out my favorite Coach Beach bag themed tote for summer and occasionally, I will use the gold-ish/brown bag too. There were 8 other bags just sitting there.

I read David Platt's book Radical on our flight to St. John just last month so my mind instantly went from looking at the purses to realizing someone could be using these. I carefully opened each one and found nearly a lifetime of memories gathered inside. There was a paycheck stub from when I worked at Trade Days, lots of old gum and mints, pens and paperclips and several movie ticket stubs.

Movies I saw with my girls...like the Bee Movie, Horton Hears a Who, and so many more. There were receipts from nurseries where I had purchased my favorite plants and flowers growing in my gardens, receipts from the grocery store, a thank you note from a sweet parent thanking me for teaching her child in children's choir so many years ago, a list of things to purchase for VBS when I was the director, grocery lists, remember to do lists, and at the bottom of my favorite leopard print Kate Spade bag was a tiny pecan...and I sobbed!

Not because of the find but because of what it reminded me of. I remember the "treasure" my Hannah found (when she was probably only 3 years old) as she proudly asked me to keep it for her. Those precious tiny hands holding the little pecan, that little blondie, with all of the bouncing curls, smiling from ear to ear. In her sweet little girl voice saying, "Look Momma!I find this for you!" Sweet memories!

But, there is much more to this find! Being a mom is hard! I didn't really like the Momma that I had to be today. It's hard to follow through with discipline when your children don't do what they are suppose to do. I would rather take my girls shopping, go for a walk together, go see a fun movie, or just hang out at Starbucks any day...but following through with discipline is hard. It was hard when they were little, it is hard when they are older!

But, the Lord sweetly reminded this heart of mine that my little pecans are growing into a beautiful young ladies. Yes, it is happening much too quickly but I can see His fingerprints all over them. And He holds these "treasures," in the very palm of His mighty hands and encourages me that while days like these might not be as fun as the others, it is worth it all because He is working and moving in them...and this heart of mine once again marvels in amazement at all that He does...and all that He has allowed me to be a part of.

I couldn't pick two better daughters if I got to choose them myself...I would choose my Rachel and Hannah every time!! The thought that He chose me to be their momma floods my heart with great joy and gratitude to the One who gives good gifts to His children. I want them to bring Him great honor and joy in their lives...and even on the days when it is a bit tough, I will follow Him every step of the way.

I'm so thankful I listened to the prodding in my heart to clean out my closet...because you see, I'm the one who found the treasure today...in the form of a tiny pecan.  Oh, God is so good!